sextnoise
kimpissable:

clevverbot:

UH NO. EXCUSE ME BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING. DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO FUCKING MAKE A BURGER
FIRST OF ALL, THE PICKLES ARE ALL ON ONE SIDE OF THE FUCKING THING, SO YOU’LL EITHER HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL YOU GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BURGER TO ENJOY THE PICKLES OR YOU’LL HAVE TO FACE THEM HEAD ON WHEN YOU START EATING IT
SECOND, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PUT KETCHUP DIRECTLY ON THE FUCKING PICKLES THEY’RE ALREADY SOUR ENOUGH, YOU’RE JUST GONNA HAVE A FUCKING OVERLOAD OF FLAVOR AND THOSE PARTICULAR BITES AREN’T GOING TO BE VERY GOOD
AND THIRD, THAT CHEESE IS NOT FUCKING CENTERED ONTO THE FUCKING BURGER YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE LIKE TWO OR THREE BITES WITHOUT CHEESE AND YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE LIKE FIVE BITES WITH TOO MUCH CHEESE BECAUSE IT’S NOT FUCKING CENTERED
I AM DISAPPOINTED SPONGEBOB FIRST YOU CAN’T EVEN FUCKING DRIVE RIGHT, NOW YOU CAN’T EVEN MAKE A FUCKING KRABBY PATTY RIGHT EVEN THOUGH YOU’VE BEEN DOING IT FOR 15 FUCKING YEARS GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER

shhh the pickles are sleeping

kimpissable:

clevverbot:

UH NO. EXCUSE ME BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING. DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO FUCKING MAKE A BURGER

FIRST OF ALL, THE PICKLES ARE ALL ON ONE SIDE OF THE FUCKING THING, SO YOU’LL EITHER HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL YOU GET TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BURGER TO ENJOY THE PICKLES OR YOU’LL HAVE TO FACE THEM HEAD ON WHEN YOU START EATING IT

SECOND, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU PUT KETCHUP DIRECTLY ON THE FUCKING PICKLES THEY’RE ALREADY SOUR ENOUGH, YOU’RE JUST GONNA HAVE A FUCKING OVERLOAD OF FLAVOR AND THOSE PARTICULAR BITES AREN’T GOING TO BE VERY GOOD

AND THIRD, THAT CHEESE IS NOT FUCKING CENTERED ONTO THE FUCKING BURGER YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE LIKE TWO OR THREE BITES WITHOUT CHEESE AND YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE LIKE FIVE BITES WITH TOO MUCH CHEESE BECAUSE IT’S NOT FUCKING CENTERED

I AM DISAPPOINTED SPONGEBOB FIRST YOU CAN’T EVEN FUCKING DRIVE RIGHT, NOW YOU CAN’T EVEN MAKE A FUCKING KRABBY PATTY RIGHT EVEN THOUGH YOU’VE BEEN DOING IT FOR 15 FUCKING YEARS
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER

shhh the pickles are sleeping

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1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.

2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.

3. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.

4. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.

5. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

6. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.

7. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.

8. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.

9. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.

10. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.

11. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.

13. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.

14. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

15. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

(via elauxe)

A self care list. I’ve been working on this. I promise it’s worth it.

(via sweetbloodsomalia)

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wannabeanimator:

Walt Disney Animation Studios | 1937 - 2014

After seeing this post, I decided to make this. The “Experimental” era is usually referred to as Post-Renaissance. I imagine the Revival is going to continue through this decade. 2015 and beyond films listed are: (left to right) Zootopia, Giants, and Moana.

If you want to read more about each era and how they got their names, click here.